Let’s face it state nicknames are as passé as Brittany’s blond tresses. . No one ever takes a Hoosier to lunch anymore and a cornhusker is usually identified as a new Dr. Scholl product. It’s time then for a new set of state nicknames for the 21st century. You ,the public, which has successfully handled the grave responsibility of choosing An American Idol, has earned the right to decide the 50 new state nicknames from the nominees below. Note the current nickname in parentheses
Alabama (Heart of Dixie)
A. Heart of Darkness
B. Vacationbland
C. The Six Pack and Gun Rack State
D. The 50% Cotton State.
State Bird: The Jim Crow
Alaska (The Last Frontier)
A. The Last Frontier of the Cruise Lines.
B. Gateway To Siberia
C. Land of the Midnight Sun Lamp
D. Half Baked Alaska
State Bird: Oil Slick Backed Gull
Arkansas (Land of Opportunity)
A. Whitewater Grafting State
B. Bimbo State
C. Hot Springs State
D. Hot Bed Springs State
State Flower: Gennifer
Arizona (Grand Canyon State)
A. Yuh, But It Is A Dry Heat State
B. Brown Grass State
C. Saddle Sore State
D. AARP State
California (Golden State)
A. The Chaotic State
B. Land of Disenchantment
C. Land of Nixon
D. The Altered State
State flower: Black Dahlia
Colorado (The Centennial State)
A. The Oxygen Deprived State
B. Rocky Mountain Sigh State
C. Where the Donners Were Gonners State
D. The Coors Twins State.
Connecticut (The Constitution State)
A. Land of Lincoln Continental
B. The Lyme Disease State
C. Martha Stewart’s Living and Fibing State
D. The Confluence of Affluence State
Delaware (The First State)
A. State Inc.
B. Dupont’s Private E-state
C. The Chemically Dependent State
D. The Inc. Stained State
Florida (The Sunshine State)
A. The Palmetto Bug State
B. The Mickey Mouse State
C. The Transient State
D. Incontinent Sub-Continent
State Bird: Early Bird Special
Georgia (The Peach State)
A. Land of Mr. Peanut
B. Richard (Jewel) of The South State
C. The Northern Wannabe State
D. Peach Fuzz Groom State
Hawaii (Aloha State)
A. Mahalo , Shalom Whatever State
B. Aloha To Your Dollars State
C. Surf Bum State
D. America’s Game Show Prize
Idaho (Gem State)
A The Potato and Other Bad Carbs State
B. The Flout Your Trout State
C. Boise Is The Hood State
D. Mounted Antlers in Lavatory State.
Illinois (The Prairie State)
A. One Dead Man One Vote State
B. What is an Illini State
C. Duh Bears State
D. Land of Lincoln paraphernalia
Indiana (The Hoosier State)
A. Bobby Knightmare State
B. The Right Winged Quayle State
C. Shot Hoops And Foreign Troops State
D. What the Heck Is A Hoosier State
Iowa (Hawkeye State)
A. America’s gluten spewing, colon clogging bread-basket
B. The Walmart Anchored Mall State
C. One Scarecrow On Vote State
D. Well Subsidized Field of Dreams State
Kansas (The Sunshine State)
A. E-I-E-I-O state
B. Gateway to Oz State
C. The Ethanol State
D. 4H Before 3 Rs State
Kentucky (The Blue Grass State)
A. Fast Fillies and High Priced Studs State
B. The Gelding State
C. The Crystal (meth) State
D. Land That Lincoln Left State
Louisiana (The Bayou State)
A. When The Saints Go Sloshing In State
B. “Brownie You Did A Job On Our State”
C. Submeged My Chevy in the Levee State
D. Home of/is the Superdome State
Maine (Pine Tree State)
A. Death By Snowmobile State
B. 25 Teeth Per Capita State
C. Pining For More Trees State
D. The Too -Quaint State
Maryland (Old Line State)
A. Give a Case of Crabs State
B. Barry Levinson State
C. Star Mangled Banner State
D. Lacrosse and LaCoste State
Massachusetts (The Bay State)
A. Pointy Headed Liberal State
B. The Gay State
C. Cod Forsaken State
D. The Get Scrod State
State Bird: Larry
Michigan (Wolverine State)
A. The Prius Envy State
B. The Snap. Crackle and Flop State
C. Land of the Over-priced Floor Mat
D. The Rear Exhaust State
Minnesota (Land of 10,000 Lakes)
A. Land of 20,000 Drownings
B. Land of 1,000,000 dead Batteries
C. Norse Of Course State
D. Lapps Dancing State
Missouri (The Show Me State)
A. The Show Me The Money State.
B. Hanson Headlining Branson State
C. The Steer and Beer State
D. Goddam Land of Harry Truman That Tough SOB State
Mississippi (Magnolia State)
A. Old Jr. Miss
B. The Real Dixie Chicks State
C. Food Stamp State
D. The Stars and Bars State
Montana (Treasure State)
A. State of Siege
B. Enemy of the State
C. One Horse One Vote State
D. 2nD Amendment State
Nebraska (Cornhusker State)
A. The Little House Was Not On This Prairie State .
B. No That’s In Kansas State
C. The Unicameral Legislature State
D. The 50% Less Graft State.
Nevada (Silver State)
A. The Get Some State
B. Land of The Complimentary Buffet
C. The State of Sin
D. Land of Bugsy
New Hampshire (The Granite State)
A. The Crumbling Granite State
B, Primarily Less Important State
C. Live Free or Move To Mass. State
D. The Dump LBJ State
State Bird: The Flighty Politician
New Jersey (Garden State)
A. Wise Guy State
B. Landfill of The Nation
C. The Rodney Dangerfield State
D. The Garden Variety State
State Bird: The Stool Pigeon
New Mexico (Land Of Enchantment)
A. Coyote and Peyote State
B. Mushroom Cloud State
C. Alber-quirky State
D. First in Flying Saucer Flight State
New York (The Empire State)
A. The Chutzpah State
B. Agitated State
C The Evil Empire State
D. The Cheesecake State
State Bird: The Bird
North Carolina (Tarheel State)
A. The Cancer Stick State
B. First in Flight From Hurricanes State
C. Land of Jordan
D. Tar(heel) and Nicotine State
North Dakota (Flickertail State)
A. Flooded State
B. Buffalos Winged State
C. Bison Chip State
D. Is There life Out There State
Ohio (Buckeye State)
A. Four Dead in State
B. Recalled Tire State
C. Bucktooth State
D. Bucket-of-Fries State
Oklahoma (Sooner State)
A. Dusty State
B. Little Dogie State
C. Leave Sooner State
D. Marlboro Man State
Oregon (Beaver State)
A. Take a Tree To Lunch State
B. The Chainsaw Massacre State
C. Lewis and Clark Schlepped Here State
D. Forest Grumps State
Pennsylvania (The Keystone State)
A. The Hopefully Not Rocky VII State
B. The Hawking Amish-Gawking State
C. Cheese Steak and TMI Melt State
D. The Betsy Ross Slept Around Here State
Rhode Island (Ocean State)
A. The Sorry State Of Politics
B. The Mini-Me State
C. The State of No Consequence
D. Providence The TV Show State
South Carolina (Palmetto State)
A. Strom Thurmand Slept (through the 20th Century ) here state
B. Stars and Bars on Cars State
C. The Drunken Golf Junket State,
F. The Good Old Fashioned Shag State
South Dakota (Mount Rushmore State)
A. Its Just a Dumb Rock State
B. Custor’s Last Souvenir Stand State
C. The Speak With Forked Tounge State
D. America’s Missile Silo
Tennessee (The Volunteer State)
A. Elvis’ Bloated State
B. Land of Johnny Knoxville
C. Hee Haw State
D. Not Gore to the Core State
Texas (The Lone Star State)
A. The Lethal Injection II State
B. The Macho and Nacho State
C. The Remember (To spend At )the Alamo State
D. The Exaggerated State
State Flower: The Rambling Bush
Utah (Beehive State)
A. Beehive Hairdo State
B. The Pristine State
C. Cookies and Milk State
D. 3 Girls For Every Boy State
Vermont (Green Mountain State)
A. The Ben And Jerry State
B. The Cow Pie State
C. Hunting and Phishing State
D. The Sappiest State
Virginia (Old Dominion State
A. Dead Presidents State
B. Lee Slept Here Fitfully State
C. Has Been State
D. Civil Bore State
Washington (The Evergreen State)
A. Gates-way to America
B. G.W Never Schleped Out Here State
C. Grande State
D. The Un-sunshine State
West Virginia (Mountain State)
A. Old King Coal State
B. Black Lung State
C. Dead Canary State
D. Depressed State
Wisconsin (The Badger State)
A, The Badgered State
B. The Wurst State
C. The Blitzed on Schlitz State
D. The Beer Chugging and Deer Plugging State
Wyoming (The Equality State )
A. Old Faithful State
B. Old Faithfully Conservative State
C. Forest Fire State
D. Land of Zany Chaney State
